Friday, 14 January 2022

Hosts of Spaces Attack Their Audience :O (Who does that????!!!)

Yes that really happened! The title of the Twitter Space session was 'What Do You Bring To The Table & What Do You Expect' meaning what you brought to a love relationship. I attended the Space yesterday and am still horrified by the attitude of the hosts. That has led me to write again, I was not just horrified but worried about the adverse effects that could result from such hosting.

It is not a hidden fact that mental wellness is increasingly a subject that is important in most communities. Whether we looking at the developed world or our own African communities, suicide especially among men in midlife and male youth has increased. And there are various reasons for poor mental health but the most recurring amongst cases is stress, lack of emotional support and money. I believe yesterday I saw an example of how insensitive men can be especially towards each other.

Simply put the hosts were downright rude especially towards men who felt what was important to them in a relationship was in any way emotional support, honesty or the need to be appreciated and encouraged in one way or another. The hosts called them weak,  undeserving of having fulfilling marriages (even when the speaker was in a happy relationship) or bull shitting …  the proper answer for them is the man should simply want to be a provider and have a woman as a child bearer.  The language used was gross ... "I want your womb" like the lady was an animal to produce litter.

Question is, aren't men entitled to want something more than children from a relationship and aren't women allowed to want more in a man than provision?  The world is changing so fast, and in the past... looong ago, the ideal in society for a successful man was large farmland and a 'boma' full of women and children to cultivate the land, today the mark of a successful man is as varied as the different stages of human development, the different communities we belong to, our religious beliefs, our personal financial position and after all  that, our personal  experiences. Even  two people of the same gender from the same family will want very different things in a relationship.

That said, back to the attitude of the hosts both men, towards fellow men. I would say other than trying to bully everyone into submitting to their perspective, let alone the barbaric manner in which it was done, it would be great to be sensitive to what  is happening in society. If you are having a forum, why insult the very people who are making it possible for you to have it? Why would men in their middle age and above attack other men especially in light of the situation the world is going through right now?

The world has woken up to the need to have better and meaningful relationships at home especially  in the light of Corona. Relationships that help support us emotionally, and reduces the large number of suicides happening around us. There is enough killing of men's dreams and hope and using our platforms to stomp on others because we hold the microphone is very insensitive to our audience. I am  sad that  mature middle aged men would publicly display such behavior. As with attacks made on the lady who committed suicide in Kilimani Mums, I think hosts of such Twitter Spaces should be held responsible if at any point people are hurt directly or indirectly as a result of their public bulling.

You may say the host could be acting as a result of the type of audience they have. However this is irrelevant. When you put yourself out there as a leader and unless you specifically show that the session you are running is purely for entertainment purposes and this should be visibly displayed during the session, you should understand people come to such sessions for support and understanding. Many are sensitive and like it or not you are responsible to ensure you do adequate research, understand views held before the session and run it without getting emotional and attacking your audience.😶

In light of this .... should responsible journalism be a requirement of anyone who hosts a session in Spaces???

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